Oh Wade Wilson, you’ve broken the fourth wall… of our hearts. ♥️
Houston, we have a problem. Cambridge, we’ve got a situation. Mumbai, we’re in trouble. Otorohanga, we’re buggered. Here’s the guts of it: Deadpool‘s here and the world just wasn’t ready to swoon over a guy like this.
How do the masses love thee,
Captain Deadpool? Here some ways. Count ’em down:
8. Marvel’s mouthiest and most mmm-worthy merc’s movie’s supplied squirms and squeals for everyone who’s had the time to bung their bum into a cinema seat since opening day, and the violence unleashed by willing wallets on box offices everywhere has delivered the biggest opening… hey, getcha mind out of the gutter. The flick’s sold a lot of tickets, alrighty?
7. It’s easy to love Deadpool when he finds it easy to love back, right? Because his body’s cells are always regenerating, his brain’s flicking from straightness to gayness and everything in between, all the time. Don’t take my word for it – ask one of Deadpool’s daddies. Mr Pool will direct affection wherever and whenever he feels it needs to go, whether to a lovelorn cabbie or his take-no-shit roommate Blind Al – all while he’s chasing the girl of his dark and twisted dreams. (The ones that don’t involve being a tremendous disappointment to Liam Neeson.)
6. It’s polite to refer to someone by their first name, so dear Wade’s dedication to reminding Ajax of his true name is just the nicest thing to behold in this modern age of abrupt rudeness.
5. Actually, you know what? Ajax is a bag of dicks. A bag of big, floppy, made-for-political-protest rubber dicks. If you’re not standing up against the bag of dicks in your life, what are you standing up for? Wade knows what he wants, and he’s got his fans rooting. (For him.)
4-3-2. Are you there, God? It’s me, intertextuality. People love Deadpool for the same reasons they used to love The Simpsons – references and influences from other creative works we know well. Those things validate our choices and flatter our sensitive little hearts, and isn’t that what we want from a significant other? Seems in this case, we do.
Here’s a sweet rundown of all the ways Deadpool touched us by touching upon what we know. It’s also spoileriffic, but don’t let that stop you if you’ve already seen the movie, or just like to live dangerously.
1. This movie is kicking ass on a shoestring, just like its audience. We make the biggest deal out of leftover pizza because it’s all we’ve got and we feel like a million bucks for having it. Putting the only two mutants within budget in the X-Mansion is probably where it differs a bit because heaven only knows few young flatmates in New Zealand could afford to live in a place like Professor Stewart-McAvoy’s stunning estate, but in every other respect Deadpool’s calling-out of the limited budget that his world was built upon ain’t too different from what you’ll see if you read half New Zealand’s tweets on any given weeknight.
So here we are. Folks are lovesick for Deadpool, but you didn’t come here looking for a cure, did you? If you haven’t caught the disease yet, get out there and get chin-deep in it. You won’t just fall in love with Wade, or with his pals – you’ll fall in love with a sweet, smartass movie that respects just how sweet and smart your ass is.